What happens to the child we used to be when we grow up?
I heard that no matter our age, deep down we are still the same child.
I believe it. I see how many of us carry the fears, the joys, the rejection, the abandonment, and so many other experiences.
I was reflecting on this after watching a new documentary about Jean-Michel Basquiat.
Basquiat became one of the most recognized artists of his generation, and while I watched, I kept seeing a little boy whose life had changed so drastically at age 7, when his parents separated, and he nearly died in a car accident.
The documentary focused on the person, not just the artist. What I saw was a bright, curious child whose light seemed to dim after his parents separated, even as he became so famous in such a short period of time. It got me thinking about how the inner child doesn’t disappear.
Maybe that child comes with us… and affects some or most of the decisions we make? Maybe.
I left wondering how much of that little boy he was still carrying, even when, from the outside, he seemed to be at the top of the mountain.
So, as I walked out with my friends, looking at the beautiful NYC landscape, I thought about how fragile we can be.
We may appear strong, capable, well put together, which we can be. But what role is that child playing within us?
Still Trying to Understand Ourselves
The night ended with us talking in the car like the little girls we once were. Except that we weren’t playing with Barbies or daydreaming about boys. Among all the topics, we were expressing how we don’t recognize ourselves anymore.
And it struck me that here we were, all these years later, still trying to understand ourselves. Especially the one thing no one ever talked to us about: perimenopause and menopause.
I’m just learning about it, but I see how it changes our bodies and emotions, how it affects us mentally, and, hey, it might even affect us spiritually. If you know this, tell me!
Suddenly, another transition in my life happened that I had no idea was happening, but I'd felt it all along. At least now I know what was causing everything I was feeling. I just don’t know when it will end.
And it leaves us with the question: Who am I now? What is happening to me?
What can I expect? What can I do to support my body and mental well-being?
And maybe even, who do I want for my future?
And What About the Little Girl?
And that made me wonder: where does that little girl fit into this story?
Is she still there?
Personally, I’ve felt distant from her. But maybe this is a reminder to reconnect.
I don’t have answers for myself. Maybe you do, or not…
All I can think is that I’m grateful for the awareness I have now… and that, at this stage of my life, I still have the opportunity to imagine and create the woman I want to be more of.
Because not everyone gets to live long enough to have these experiences.
I do. And that alone is something worth appreciating.
