The Girl Who Is Barely There

For every woman who has ever made herself smaller than she is

“I Am” — Claudia Marulanda, 2017. All rights reserved. marulandaart.com Woven in the hair are the words: “I am a wonder woman, creating my own vision.”

I was watching a movie when something made me stop and look at myself.

There was a young girl who was so afraid of being herself that she had learned to go unnoticed. Waiting for life to happen instead of creating it. So much so that her so-called friend wrote a poem about her and called it “The Girl Who Is Barely There.”

And somewhere in the middle of it, it hit hard.

I felt it in my gut, as if that was me.

Because it showed me that I’ve been playing small in the area of my life where I see myself shining. Carrying a dream in my heart and finding every reason not to move forward with it.

Tell me I’m not the only one.

You know, that version of yourself you can almost see but haven’t fully stepped into yet? And the life you want that keeps getting pushed to “when the time is right?”

I’ve been there before, and luckily, art showed me something I didn’t expect. It gave me a space to imagine, to envision the happier Claudia I so much desired.

It took time to realize it was all connected to my identity because I was oblivious to who I was back then.

However, that experience changed something in me, and it’s why my work has been about helping women step into their creativity and create a Future Self Portrait.

We don’t usually give ourselves permission to envision who we are becoming. We stay focused on who we are right now, on what’s not working, on what we haven’t done yet.

But what if you could see her? The version of you that is possible. We are always in the process of becoming. Most of us just never stop to draw her into existence.

I’ve seen it happen. And it still moves me.

Past participants have surprised themselves. One described it as an intimate vision board. Another filled her paper with words she didn’t know she needed to hear. “All that I am is becoming. You are brilliant. Choose joy.”

This is Carmen Peña’s Future Self-Portrait. Created while participating in my “Uncover the Goddess Within Future Self-Portrait” program.

What made it unique is that she didn’t think her way there; she painted her way there.

This is why I’m so passionate about providing women a safe space to recreate their self-concept. To allow themselves to imagine and create it with their own hands.

This newsletter is my commitment to stop playing small and finally start taking action on what I know is my calling.

I’m ready to be the girl who is fully there.

If this resonates, ask yourself one question. What would change if you finally decided to be fully there?

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